Trust

Trust is one of those intangibles that has so much value.  Think of auto brands.  There was a time when General Motors and Ford were the most trusted brands.  Then they fell out of favour and Toyota and other Japanese brands became the gold standard, until they too had mechanical failures.  The level of trust in the brand is an indicator of the fortunes of the companies.

The reason successful people become successful is because they trust others and others trust them.  Whether they trust them with their money, their lives, their secrets, it doesn’t make a lot of difference.  The trust is there and it’s becomes key to their power.

Trust is amazing, because it is so powerful yet it cannot be bought, only earned. I grew up trusting people unless they gave me reason not to trust them, and this has served me well over time. A couple of times I have been burned, but in general, trusting others has allowed me to become closer to people more quickly, which in the end helps us all.
So what happens if you get burned really badly by someone you trust? Does that mean you should never trust anyone ever again?
No. I think it means you should treat that person with extreme caution and probably not trust them, but also look at their traits and see if there’s something that gives their personality away, which might indicate why they broke the trust.

This would also give you a clue as to why others might be untrustworthy. This doesn’t mean that if one untrustworthy person smiles, all smilers are untrustworthy.

We need to look deeper to the motivations of people and see why they do things.

Why do people cheat?  Why do people lie?  Why do people back out at the last minute?  Why do people steal ideas?

A big reason is insecurity or fear. I’ve heard many times that fear is the motivator of 95% of our actions, and this would include actions that lack integrity. Everyone knows that in the long run “honesty is the best policy”, so if someone sane decides to go against that they are doing it out of desperation. It’s easier to do something right the first time, and not worry about consequences than cut corners or misrepresent yourself for the sake of a short-term gain, knowing that in the long-term it might catch up on you.
The key is to look for integrity. If someone has integrity then they can be trusted. Sure, almost everyone has something in them that might mean they leave work early without saying or not declare incorrect change at the shop when it’s in their favour. These aren’t honest actions, but they’ve almost become an acceptable bending of the rules in our society. The value of the cheating is seen to be so small that it has become ignored.
But dishonesty that does affect people, like letting people down, not following through on promises, keeping secrets, gossipping indicate a lack of integrity and give reason not to trust.
So it’s those people that you can choose to not spend time with, because being with them doesn’t enrich, it diminishes your life force and life quality.
If you choose to surround yourself with untrustworthy people or you simply don’t trust the good people around you, what’s the penalty? You’d end up living in an unhappy world. A world in which people are out to get you and a place where nothing’s safe.
When a horse rider falls off a horse, the first thing they do is make them get right back on. The bad experience is erased by a good experience. If not it could fester and become a phobia that is very difficult to overcome. The last thing a rider needs is a phobia of horses.
Most people in this world are good, and many can be trusted. I always think that no one can hurt me with me. What I mean by that is that you can’t hurt me by saying something mean about me or my likes or who I am, because that’s who I am, like it or not. The kids phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” is true even as an adult. The name calling is different, but it’s the same concept.
So what I’m saying in all of this is that trust the people who deserve it. Surround yourself with trustworthy people and be one yourself, and the world will be a friendly, happy place for you.
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